THOUGHTS ON LIFE

Disclaimer: This article is not politically correct. Despite its very serious nature, it(even the disclaimer itself) contains sarcasm, humor, free speech, sharply sincere and insensitive ways of describing some categories of people and their habits, not to mention other tendencies of democracy, such as considerably long sentences (and occasional typos^_^), forcing people to focus a little more than an average facebook status. Although it's not meant to be offensive, if you feel you could be offended by those things, then I apologize and recommend your reconsideration whether to continue, or not. If this is not the case, then enjoy!

Someone once said “What’s in the past, doesn’t exist anymore, what’s in the future doesn’t exist yet and the present is so eluding us…”

A traveler through space and time. On their way to happiness, to resolutions, to demise. Through decisions, choices, feelings, actions, reactions, possible futures. Traveler setting sails on the greatest endeavor we know - life. Do you wonder about this special person’s identity? It is no one special at all, no one special indeed. It is you and me, it is everyone you know, human, animal, ghost… Every soul that has ever existed to this world and perhaps many others. Every sentient being you’ve ever known, you’ve ever given life to, you’ve ever loved, you’ve ever killed and/or eaten. Each and every one of us is a single part of this great scheme, this great net and organism, this great body, that we call life. Through our many ways of perception, a vast matrix that we call reality is created. Created and lived within and by us. Through this reality we perceive and observe what we call “existence”. If you think this through, you may realize, that things are not created on their own - an incredible number of circumstances, conditions, causes and effects is needed for even the simplest things to arise. Take a moment and think about the process. We are composed of bones, muscles, organs. Those are composed of tissue, fibers… you get the picture. Ok, I trust we all can understand, how ordinary things come to being. So let’s go beyond the ordinary. Do you have something made of gold, silver? You might not know this, but be aware that all those came to existence by a nuclear reaction within a supernova explosion. Yes, a star had to die in order give existence to all metals heavier than iron.
Astonished? That’s not all. The first stars were made of almost entirely hydrogen, because not many other elements were around at the time. By nuclear fusion, stars transform lighter elements into heavier ones - hydrogen into helium, and so on. Yet once a star starts to produce iron, which isn’t an exothermic reaction, its destiny becomes sealed. The iron simply stays there and settles down at the core, without creating any new elements. If the star is about the size of our sun, it won’t have the mass needed to explode as supernova. Instead, Once its fuel nears depletion, it will inflate like a balloon - and in the case of our Sun - swallow the first four planets of our system. In the next stage, it will disperse all its matter far around in a beautiful, perhaps ring-like, planetary nebula. Now, when the star is at least eight to ten times more massive, it will demise in an explosion, within which all the remaining elements are created. An explosion so truly magnificent and drastic, it can give away more energy at this one moment, than during its entire life, ultimately sending its matter far into space. Hence one day, thanks to gravity, new stars and planets can be born out of it, as it once happened to our world, to you and me.

You can see what immensely incredible and complex conditions, causes and effects were needed for not only us, but our whole planet and Sun to arise. Furthermore, now think backwards and imagine all the incredible conditions and the amount of people it took to create you and me. Both of our parents had parents, they had parents, they had parents. If we go ten generations back, we get over one thousand mothers and fathers directly leading to us. Twelve generations more and we get ten thousand people. Do you get how many life stories your existence contains? Perhaps this could let us stop for a while and re-think some of our attitudes or ambitions and fears. Remember, nothing in this world is static or single-shaped. Literarily every quality of anything depends on a great number of conditions, hence is relative.

“If we look through the eyes of countless animals in the sky, all our earthly accomplishments and problems will appear small.”

Now let’s take a look at a different angle. Sentient being like us, animals, who knows perhaps even trees and plants have emotions. Emotions is what drives us, what makes us do things. All what makes us happy, sad, hate, love. What makes us rejoice in gratefulness, or suffer in jealousy and greed. During the times when we are flooded with these emotions, not often we remember to analyze their true nature as well as learn about their true causes and effects. In fact, we may notice they are not different from anything else. Like everything else in this universe (and perhaps beyond), emotions do not exist on their own, however they are projected through the complicated apparatus of our combined perception. We don’t think straight and therefore loose control of ourselves to those emotions. Sometimes, when we are standing before a problem/situation that our brain doesn’t know yet how to solve, we instinctively try to keep thinking until we find one. Again, very good reflex, but unfortunately, it doesn’t say anything about whether our way of solving it is adequate. So why when our approach fails/doesn’t bring any solutions, we don’t stop there and rethink the whole process? Why do we go on and on the same way with our head against the wall instead? Why do we give up and often imprison our mind inside a closed circle causing us to fall into depression? Wouldn’t be way better to just stop, change our perspective and find more effective approach? Of course it would. But for some reason, we many people of these days do it on daily basis. For example, if our neck hurts from constantly bad position at our desk, the first impulse usually is to take painkillers, to go to therapy, etc, instead of “just” changing our way of sitting. If our stomach is upset from all the stress combined with our way of eating, is changing our lifestyle the first thing we do? That, my friends, I doubt very much. We usually just wait until it’s unbearable. Need I say more? So, where does deeply irrational way of thinking comes from? To explain this more in depth, we shall first look at emotions from two perspectives. The first one we shall call biochemical and the second perhaps a holistic one.

What is happening when we are afraid? Fear is always caused by some danger (both present and imagined). For the most simple explanation, let’s remember our far ancestors.
Since ancient times, when for example a predator appears, a sequence of processes in our brain and body takes place in order to save us. This includes flooding ourselves with adrenaline that elevates our blood pressure and pulse rate, letting go everything we are holding at the time and sometimes a swift disembowelment in order to loose any unnecessary weight, preparing us for the following impulse - a quick run. The faster we can run, the bigger are our chances of survival. Yes, our primary instincts are that elaborate. In the same time, our brain knows how indecisive, hesitant and oblivious our mind can be, thus it switches into a “quick reaction mode”, a certain kind of subroutine that gives our body a direct and specific set of instructions what to do, often skipping the whole process of “free will”. All this is part of our genetic memory that is directly implemented in the very core of us and hence it is naturally the strongest force in forming our habits and thinking patterns.
Note: If you concluded, that I’m trying here to undermine the whole concept of free will, you are correct. In case it strongly doesn’t agree with you or your belief, I deeply respect that and therefore suggest you stop reading right here.

Given all this, it is more than obvious, that our most essential programing and thus our purpose is survival. Ensuring our survival appears to be the ultimate Goal, everything we do, beginning with the simplest tasks, like running away from a tiger, up to the most elaborate principles of reproduction. Once we are joined by others, this strong sense of survival is usually at least partially transferred from just us to the whole group (either our mates and families, or perhaps a pride or hive). Now, we in a way become a single organ to a larger body and our brain chemistry changes accordingly. A different (some might say higher) set of routines comes to rule our instincts. We no longer care so much about our own well being, as much as we care about the group. If necessary, we will go instantly and without hesitation against what seemed to be the strongest thing in us, that main Goal of our existence - Self preservation. If it means assuring the survival of our Group, we will destroy ourselves in sacrificion. Do you now notice the perhaps “original” meaning of the word sacrifice => to make [something] sacred? I realized it just now and to say frankly, doesn’t make me feel any better… Though, I remembered a part of the lyrics of an old folk song I used to listen to when I was a kid. The translation would be close to this:

“Only rocks and people have enough courage to break off from a mountain and fall down the hill.”

However. There is a little huge problem here. We (mostly) no longer live in dark ages nowadays. (Although, if you sometimes listen closely to some politicians… no that’s not the point of this article.) So, through time, we human beings, not unlike bees, have created our own complex and resilient culture. At high school, I remember learning, that ‘culture’ is “everything that separates us from animals”. To you who say this, I have just one question. Have you ever watched american football? (and I’m not talking about the notoriously known fact that it’s not even a ball. Again, not the point.) But in a way, it is the point. I say, that if something separates us from most animals, it is our (sometimes) high IQ, our (sometimes totally suspended) compassion, our superior capabilities to solve (and create even more) complex problems. And where does this lead? Surely, we have evolved. We don’t fight just to stay alive, we don’t kill just for food, we fight and kill for money, and if you think about it, pretty much for anything. When we are overwhelmed, we get angry and jealous, terrified and depressed.

This exactly is one of the points of this essay. An animal instinct tells us: “If a procedure doesn’t work, I’ll try the same way harder. If it still doesn’t get me anywhere, I’ll be lost and finished.” Why is it, that a creature so elaborate and evolved like our selves so often cannot use that great potential it has been working on for so long - perhaps since the dawn of history. Already for ages, we are being encouraged to overcome our fear, our primal instincts, our primitive thinking patterns. If you think this through, we wouldn’t have to use them anymore, if we wanted to. We could make a society of peace and compassion, if we only wanted to. But somehow we cling to our primal instincts, we cherish them sometimes to insane levels. Even though the world has changed, even though so many conditions of our present day are so different from the archaic times. Go ahead, act like primates, but be aware that since most of you are wearing pants, I sincerely doubt a swift disembowelment would do you any good in the matter of running faster. And still it’s known to happen. Might be a little proof that not always our basic instincts serve us so well nowadays… But who knows, it’s still good for digestion, right?…

Therefore let us think, how can we explore our potential, how can we grasp all the power and capability of our mind and intellect and learn to use it with the utmost effect. Let the most evolved things we have - our IQ and compassion work together and overcome the disease that is our ego-ism which also is the first cause of all our suffering. Things that we cling to; long for are only in our mind and without our mind they don’t exist [with the properties that we see them for]. This might be hard to grasp, that I am aware of, however it is the objective look on reality. Thing doesn’t have a name, unless we give it one. It isn’t precious, unless you decide so. When we like some object, you like the virtual imprint, or image of it in you mind, not really the physical one. If this were not so, why else would you stop liking something when you for example learn it has different properties than you previously thought? Why else you stop liking people when “they change”, or you learn something about them that makes you “change our mind”? No matter how much I consider the english language underdeveloped and limited, this expression is really fitting. Our mind changes. Suddenly we see them in a completely different way. Your mind has changed, they probably are the same as five minutes ago, yet they are totally different - in your eyes. They are not different - their virtual persona in our mind is. Now, you perhaps say: “No, me and my partner love each other no matter what and nothing change that, our love is therefore real, hence this doesn’t apply in our case.” Well, I say it does and the only thing different is perhaps the object of your love. For better understanding let’s conduct a little thought-experiment.
Our subjects shall be perhaps a man and a woman. It really does not matter who it is, but since I am a man who likes women, I will listen to my primal and basic instincts and have it this way. (Muhehehe, though I shall control myself, coz I’m wearing pants… ^_^) Back to our experiment. They love each other unconditionally, their live is smooth, no big bumps. However they just signed up to be in our experiment, so let’s make some, but we will start easy on them. She changed hair color. Though I have seen reasons like this to be a solid basis for an imminent break up, in our case, it’s obviously no big deal, he is not in love with her hair. Now, he started smoking. She is pissed as hell, but war drums are silent. Let’s now suppose, she lost her job and doesn’t seem to mind. Perhaps she is in some kind of depression. their savings are getting slim, atmosphere kinda lifeless. No, this still cannot change anything, in our case, no matter what we do to them, or how they change, nothing will change their love. Even if one them changed into some reptile, or anything or they became separated, their love for the other wouldn’t change. Do you get it now? Their love isn’t related to the other’s actual outer or inner properties. Both of them have in their minds a virtual persona of the other, which they are in love with. This persona is stable, therefore it doesn’t reflect changes of the actual person. The most romantic and idyllic love one can imagine and its mechanics are so simple. Now some might say that I’m just cynical and they don’t trust me any of this. To you, I must say, I agree completely. The reason of this essay isn’t to force-feed you my opinions or observations. Though I would like very much to force you to analyze every word and use your own observations and experience to evaluate these claims. This doesn’t apply only to love, etc, but on every aspect of attachment or fear. With fear, the difference is usually even more apparent. Remember fearing for example a vaccine, as a kid? Or being alone in a dark room? Wasn’t a big deal, was it. Perhaps the object you had created in your mind was way scarier than reality. It usually is. Every attachment works in the same way. This is very apparent with children. Their thinking patterns are much more simplistic, hence their attachment fluctuates very easily. Once they like a toy, in the next moment they throw in away. We all know how it works. And with us, adults, the mechanism is not different, our thinking is just more complex, hence our mind isn’t that easy to change, right? Well, I will leave this conclusion on you alone, but be sincere to yourselves:). The thing is, not even our subconscious mind realizes this, therefore we get attached to the objects and people and get depressed when we loose them.

Now we shall address one more aspect. After reading this, some of you might come to a conclusion that this whole way of thinking is nihilistic. I don’t blame you, the collective thinking stereotypes of this society are strong. And I am saying that Life and this world don’t have a meaning on their own. However, the meaning does exist. I am sure you know where:). The meaning of Life, of this world, is in us and it’s entirely on our decision what it is. On the other hand, some [really huge number of] people claim, that this universe, planet, life, etc was created by a certain entity; everyone and everything has its predestination that was determined by this entity, and so on. I am sure you know the rest. If this was the case, we could not hence change anything, but be a mere puppets in some colossal play. I hope I don’t have to state that I do respect everyone’s right for their religion without judgement*, (*ok, excluding those where judgement is the keystone…) But if i want to stay objective, in the light of these parameters, this (in my opinion) totally qualifies as nihilism…

No, no. I say we are immensely fortunate and understanding this mechanism can make us really strong inside and capable of governing our minds and lives very efficiently. Beliefs and religions work also on similar basis, let’s however not dive into this topic now, although they can be immensely helpful and empowering, unless used selfishly - then they are still empowering, but also immensely unhelpful.
So we have established some conditions, that do give us a great responsibility, but nonetheless a great opportunity. Opportunity to have a powerful tool for dealing with our emotions and attachments, for making our actions and life truly worthwhile. Because we can have philosophical arguments here all day long, but there are still some boundaries to our life, our universe. The ultimate one is that [at least for our realm] nothing seems to be infinite (hint: there is no proof that the universe is infinite - this is no conspiracy theory; look for the implications of the speed of light.), what has a beginning, has an end, what was born, must die, etc. Doesn’t matter how much we cling to anything, this cannot be changed and despite we are here and now surrounded by great many things, one day, we will have to let go of all of them. So why don’t live happily:).
And here we finally get to a quote from a sci-fi movie called Chameleon from the late 90ths. Although its plot is mostly irrelevant to this topic, there is a character of a wise man, a herbalist/healer, by others thought omniscient. The elegance of one of his lines took me by surprise and later gave me the idea to write this essay.

”Take the diamond in your heart, the something that matters most; and transform it into a no thing… Surrender that and you’ll win it all.”

What we feel, what we see, what we perceive in other ways, is it really the reality we think it is? Don’t expect me to tell you more - this question is on you to decipher. Do you know why? It is because it would be far too easy to trust or adopt someone else’s opinions and explanations considering your own existence. You need to realize this on your own, because it’s not this particular problem or answer, it is all about. It is rather the way, the process of getting the solution, than the solution itself what’s so important for our formation and evolution, we often forget and even though we may well set for the journey to the true meaning of ten thousand things, we mostly get ourselves overwhelmed by finding solutions to subproblems/questions, totally forgetting to keep the distance and also the primary objective of our focus…

Hence, by accepting guidance of those wise and experienced ones, on our own we shall engage in becoming experienced ourselves in the wisdom of causality, dependent arising, the great river of time, that altogether form our life and consciousness. Hence we shall use this for the purpose of being strong and stable for this is the best way to be of help to others.

慧淨̄

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